i have to put away the dishes it's one of my chores and to save time i grab a handful of forks and spoons at once but i'm clumsy and one spoon drops from my hand onto the floor but i'm able to pick it up before she sees it. i wipe it off and put it in the drawer and i'm able to put away the bowls okay but when i go to grab a glass it's still a little wet on the outside and it slips and then it's on the floor in a dozen pieces and she heard it break and now i'm in trouble because there's no way to hide it.
WHAT DID YOU DO THIS TIME she stomps in the kitchen with a loud sigh and says YOU ARE ALWAYS MAKING MESSES FOR ME TO CLEAN UP!
no, i'm not! and it was an accident. i can clean it up if she'll let me but she never does. whenever i spill something or break something she jumps on top of it and won't let me help, but she yells all the time that i "make" her clean up messes. but that's not true, i don't make messes on purpose, i can't help it, it just happens.
and i try to say "i didn't mean to, it was an accident, let me clean it up" but when she's mad i know i'm in trouble and i get scared and i stutter so it comes out "i-- i-- it-- i-- di--"
GOD YOU ARE USELESS she says. I AM ALWAYS CLEANING UP YOUR MESS.
i don't know what to do and she won't let me near the broken glass, she blocks it with her body and with the trash can and broom. i don't make her mad on purpose, i don't drop things on purpose. i don't want her to be mad.
"i-- i-- le-- le--" i'm trying to say, let me clean it up, so she won't be mad anymore. "le-- let--"
SPIT IT OUT! she screams in my face like she always does when i can't get the words out, and that makes everything worse, now i can't speak at all and it's hard for me to breathe. i start to cry because i don't know why she's so mean to me all the time, and i'm gonna get the hiccups soon, and when i cry snot runs out of my nose and down to my mouth and my whole face is wet and it tastes bad when i lick my lips. when she sees it she screams WIPE YOUR FACE YOU'RE DISGUSTING WHY CAN'T YOU GROW UP YOU'RE SO HELPLESS GOD WHY DO I HAVE TO HAVE A DAUGHTER LIKE YOU.
and now i'm crying so hard i can't do anything until i stop crying and can breathe normal again. but by then of course the glass is all cleaned up and she wouldn't let me show her that i could clean it up myself. she said the whole time that i "made" her clean it up.
so i put away the rest of the dishes extra carefully and then i look carefully on the floor for any missed bits of broken glass, because if someone cuts their foot it will be my fault because i'm so clumsy and i can't do anything right.